Tuesday, December 22, 2009

BDSM? or BDIL?

Like I say in my Bio, I never set out to write erotic romance, let alone BSDM-inspired erotic romance. (BDSM is, of course, an acronym for bondage, discipline, sado, machoism) However, despite the fact that I indended to write "vanilla" romance, intimacy is what fascinates me. And in what other case is true and complete intimacy as paramount as in a consensual power-exchange relationship?

Every developing relationship requires honesty and communication but in a power-exchange relationship, the consequences go beyond emotional pain. To admit to an unusual desire (I will NOT use the word deviant) is to make oneself vulnerable, so the couple interested in exploring their less common needs is, from the outset, risking more. Aned, if that were not enough, there is a risk of true injury if boundaries are not properly set and comunicated.

I like to play with this charged need for intimacy in my stories. How does a couple go about communicating their needs? How to they set bounaries? What happens if one balks? Because I write romance, however there is always a happy ending to these negotiations! So in my world, it is not so much BDSM but BDIL: Bondage, Discipline, Intimacy and Love.

Monday, December 21, 2009

Happy Solstice


At 7:04 this morning the sun was as far as it is going to get from the northern hemisphere. To me, that cosmic fact is cause for celebration.

Why? In part because it's nice to mark the return of light. The modern world is Scheduled with a capital S and every once-and-awhile I like to pause and reacquaint myself with the natural rhythm. (Not that I'd truly prefer the ancient world, mind you...I've no interest in being a full-time surf and odds are, that's what I'd be). More interestingly, I think celebrating the balance and cycle of the seasons is a very basic, human thing to do.

Besides, anything primal is good for an erotic writer to observe and experience. I'm fascinated with the things we cannot control, from natural cosmic cycles to those things that regularly feed my writing: the urges, the needs we don't quite understand and are not quite sure how to control. Isn't it when it's darkest that what's hidden feels safe enough to come out and play?

The Roman festival of Saturnalia was celebrated around the winter solstice. A multi-day event, it included merriment and revelry (debauchery!) of all sorts, including the giving of gifts and candles, open banquets and free-for-all gambling. Interestingly, slaves and masters switched positions during this celebration (Hum, do I smell a plot possibility?).

Now, the solstice is more of a almost-Christmas-shopping day. This year in particular I'm determined to mark its passing. When I was much younger, I occasionally attended circles and revels and other celebrations. Tonight, I'm seeking something more simple and quiet. I want to slow down for one evening and truly appreciate the return of light. Chaos and disruption have reigned in my life during the past couple of months. It wouldn't be a bad idea for me to light a fire and reflect on the possibilities the chaos created (even if they weren't necessarily wanted!). While I listen to the crackle of flames, I'm sure I'll have a calm sense of reassurance: there is always a return to warmth and life and order.

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